This week has been rough for me. Submission has definitely the theme though. I’ve spent a lot of time running from problems that I haven’t wanted to face. I’ve put off looking for a job, in spite of the fact that I had run out of money and had overdrawn my account. I was asked to move out of my grandmother’s house because I had written her a check that I had known would not clear even though we had made a prior agreement that I would be honest with her. I can still move back in, but only once I pay her back. My first response, even though these consequences were brought on by me, was to be angry. I was angry that I was being forced to look at what I had done. I could no longer play the victim but was instead made to take responsibility for my choices. I had placed my grandma in a position that she never wanted to be in and forced her to make a decision that broke her heart. And yet, I was oblivious as to how any of it had been my fault. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I wanted to continue to be the victim of circumstance who “didn’t deserve it”. It wasn’t until I chose to humble myself that I began to see how much I rejected submission. I hadn’t submitted to my grandmother, and it led me to not respect her enough to be honest with her when it was difficult. I hadn’t submitted to God by delaying looking for a job and not taking responsibility for my negative choices. So much has happened this week, and it would almost take a book to write it all out, but I have begun to realize the importance of submission. I chose to submit to God and not run from my consequences and he provided me with a job that I start on Sunday. He has provided a way for bills to be paid that I had no way of paying. He has continued to show me grace and mercy in spite of my pride. He remains faithful and continues to draw me toward His heart. I have a tendency to look at all the ways I fall short and how much I need to change, but I have been reminded several times this week that change isn’t made up of only big choices. It consists of me making little choices that move me in the right direction. I don’t have to change by leaps and bounds. I simply need to submit to what God is doing in me and be willing to face whatever consequences my actions bring: whether positive or negative.
Lesson 9 Reflection from William Maier
This week has been rough for me. Submission has definitely the theme though. I’ve spent a lot of time running from problems that I haven’t wanted to face. I’ve put off looking for a job, in spite of the fact that I had run out of money and had overdrawn my account. I was asked […]